Sao Lao

After the Morning Alms Giving and breakfast we all did the clean up as fast as possible. I changed from the Lao Sinh into a comfortable pants and helped with the dishes. It was the only thing that is safe for me to do so. Then we rounded up all the people that want to go to Khone Phapheng and Wat Phu and loaded up the pickup truck with people and some food. Aunt K was the only one left behind to take care of Grand-Mama.

It was a long drive to Khone Phapheng. I felt bad for the people having to sit in the back of the truck. Unlike in the US, Lao people just put a sart (Lao mattress) on the truck floor and sit down for a short or long journey. When we got to Khone Phapheng we took some family photos to show the people back in the US.

My cousin Bay was leading the way.

Dee Dee, who is only one year and four months old (my second cousin) was doing her best to keep up with the adults.

I gave my camcorder to Bay so she can do the recording while I take pictures. We tried not to forget being in front of the camera.

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I don’t know if it is customary to have the Morning Alms Giving after Boun Loy Vanh or not. It must be important enough for my Grand-Mama to have the Morning Alms Giving and then Phook Khuan afterward. Since I’ve not been able to sleep for days, I got up at 3:30 AM and got out of bed right before 4:00 AM. My Grand-Mama was already up and getting ready for her morning chewing habit. The others were also getting up and doing their chores.

By 6:30 AM, I went next door to check on things and watch the sunrise. The view was breathtaking and I couldn’t help but to fall in love with Pakse. I could really get used to getting up each morning and watching the sunrise, while having a sip of Lao coffee.

By 6:40 AM two of my aunts were waiting outside to do their Morning Alms Giving. Even though we were going to have our own Thuk Bahth, there was no excuse or reason to miss the morning ritual.

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Alexandra Bounxouei performs live at a concert in Vientiane. She sings one of her most memorable song, Koy Vanh Huk Huan Kheune (Waiting for the day of love to return).

Check out her profile at Laomusic.la.

After Boun Loy Vanh it was time to sit and talk and visit with one another. Grand-Mama was in pain so I asked her if she was taking any medication. She told me there is no medication for her to take and that she uses some sort of oil to rub the knees and legs for the pain to go away. I asked my aunt K if it was proper for me to give Grand-Mama what I brought for her so that she doesn’t think I had no gift for her.

Before I went to Laos I asked my aunt K what is needed for me to bring. She told me if it is possible to buy Grand-Mama a blood pressure measurement. Aunt K said the family has been asking for such a device from my uncles in the US but was told that it was too expensive and would run them over $200.00. I was confused as to the reason why they (the uncles) didn’t get together and buy a blood pressure monitor for my Grand-Mama. With four sons in the US, they can easily get together and come up with a money for like $50.00 per person and buy a medical device that can help their mother.

I felt really sad that my aunts had to depend on me for a simple thing like that. When I went to a shop to buy vitamins and paracetamol for my Grand-Mama, Johan was kind enough and bought a blood pressure monitor for my Grand-Mama. When I gave it to her I told her that it was a gift from Johan and she was really happy to know that my boyfriend care enough about her even though he has never met her before in his life.

I was really happy to know that I was making a difference in Grand-Mama’s life. When I noticed how dry her skin was I asked her if I can lotion her legs and feet. Then I told her in Dutch tradition we would give someone that we care about three kisses on both cheeks. I said to her that I don’t care if none of her grandchildren would dare to give her a kiss and that I am her international grand-daugther and would like to show her how much I love her and care for her. Then I gave her three kisses like the way the Dutch people do. After that I used my lotion on her legs and feet and gave her three kisses on her feet with three nop to go along with them. I didn’t see anything wrong with that since I kiss little children on their feet all the time when I take care of them. Why not kiss my own Grand-Mama and show her some love?

I then asked my Aunt K to lotion my Grand-Mama’s body since I didn’t think it was proper for me to do so. I don’t know if that was inappropriate and out of Lao customs and traditions but I didn’t really care. I love my Grand-Mama and that was my way of showing my love for her, the best way I know how.

After I ate some Banh Cuon with Grand-Mama I went next door to take some photos of the cooking for Boun Loy Vanh later that evening. My aunt N and her neighbors were busy making lunch for the helpers before I went to Pakse market. When they saw my face the first thing they said to me was “go eat lunch”. I told them I ate a little bit with my Grand-Mama but a few of the ladies said I will have a long day so go eat some more. To be polite I walked back to aunt P’s house and sat with a group of people and ate the same meal that have been prepared for all the helpers of Boun Loy Vanh.

Later, I decided to take some photos and recorded Grand-Mama and her friends making Pha Khuan for the next day. She has decided to Phook Khuan for me after the Morning Alms Giving. I felt somewhat useless since no one would let me do anything. All my relatives and neighbors were all making a comment about how I wouldn’t know how to cook or do anything since I am from the US. I don’t know if they were just teasing me or really thought that I have such an easy life and wouldn’t even know how to cook sticky rice.

Grand-Mama told me that is okay to just observe and take pictures and do some recording. That way all my uncles and my Papa in the US can see what they did for Grand-Papa. My job for the most part was to document the event and show the people who sent the money for Boun Loy Vanh how their dollars were spent. Grand-Mama was not able to afford the event on her own.

I don’t have much understanding about Boun Loy Vanh. My parents didn’t do one for my deceased sister. This is the first Boun Loy Vanh that I have attended. All I know is that after someone passed away a Boun Loy Vanh is to take place on the 100th days (Loy Vanh) of the passing of that person. As you can see there are many personal items that are offered during a ceremony. This is to help my Grand-Papa in the after life, according to a Buddhist tradition.

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It is the third day in Laos and I am finally in Pakse. It has been a long journey from Vientiane with little sleep for me. The only thought that kept me going is to see the face of my Grand-Mama for the first time. The bus driver was kind enough to make a stop for us only a few meters from my aunt’s house. Since we all sat in the front row I was the third person to get off the bus, helping my aunt K to the side of the road. I saw four or five guys waiting for us and were ready to help with our bags.

We walked a few meters to a side road and came to a white brick house with brown roof. There were four children sitting on the front porche playing. From the gate I can see an old lady sitting on the floor in the livingroom. She looks so old and frail and was staring at the street, probaly waiting for us to arrive. When the four of us got inside the house I noticed there were quite a few people, all walking around and busy with various tasks.

I said “sabaidee Yaa” and gave her the proper greeting, the Lao nop. She said “oh you are here my grand-daughter” and asked about my journey and whether or not I was tired. Then she told me to go take a nap with my cousin Bay. I told her I was not tired and that I want to visit with her. My two other aunts told me in unison to go take a shower. One thing I have noticed is that my relatives tend to ask me whether I want to take a shower or have I taken a shower yet through out the day. It must be a Lao thing since I hardly do anything for the most part, except to just sit there, watch TV and eat.

I went to take a shower and came back to sit down next to my Grand-Mama. She was caring for my aunt K who was still suffering from motion sickness. My Grand-Mama said something that is so typical of a mother. She said to my aunt K, “I don’t understand why you are not like me. I never get sick from taking a plane, a bus, or a car. Why can’t you be more like me?”

I asked my Grand-Mama if I can have a moment with her. I took a look at her knees and asked her various questions. She told me how she fell down about eight months ago while coming back from the bathroom. She fell on the kitchen floor and being a stubborn person that she is, Grand-Mama tried to get up again and fell for the second time, giving herself more injuries.

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On the second night of my arrival in Vientiane, I had to take the bus to meet my Grand-Mama in Pakse. My cousin Bay took the VIP bus from Pakse to meet me at Wattay Airport and convinced all of us to go back with her the same way. I wanted to fly to Pakse and was not sure if I want to endure the long journey overnight. I asked whether or not there is a VIP bus during the day that we can take instead of the night one. However there was none available and the only type of bus you can take is the regular one with no AC.

My aunt gets sick whenver she is in a vehicle with AC. We had to pick up my Grand-Papa’s ex-wife along the way and since she can’t afford to pay for the bus fare, she has no vote on the matter. The decision was on me because I was the one paying for the fare for four people. I chose to take the VIP bus with Kiang Khai because it is a one deck type and not the double deck one. My aunt was too afraid to ride in the higher bus.

Normally the fare would be about 130,000 kips per person one way ($13 - $15) but my cousin got us a discount. She took this bus each time she comes to Vientiane and have gotten to know the drivers quite well. She also trusts their driving skills. Bay told us the two drivers are not speeders and are careful drivers. She is quite right about that because I saw the other buses passed our bus along the route. At times I thought one of the buses might tip over to the side around the curves.

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In the early evening of my first full day in Laos, my cousin Bay and her friend took me out to dinner. Before dinner we decided to go to the Patouxay Monument for a nice stroll and to take some pictures. Bay didn’t know her way around Vientiane since she is from Pakse but her male friend knew his way around. We were on motor bikes with no helmets. It is against the law to not wear a helmet during the day and perhaps at night time too. Most of my relatives are not into wearing helmets and they even cut off the mirrors of their bikes because they think it is not cool.

What happened that night gave me quite a scare. We’ve just left my aunt’s house near Wattay Airport and saw an accident on a very busy road with lots of construction. We came upon an intersection with lots of people shouting. Bay drove the bike to get pass the crowd and within my right arm’s reach I saw a girl with long light brown hair with her head tilted back. Her eyes were closed and her arms were falling down with no movement. I saw blood all over her head and her hair. Her face was covered with blood, dripping down from her forehead, from her nose and her mouth. There was blood running down her body and her arms.

My heart was pounding and I was shaking and couldn’t quite know how to react to such a tragic incident. The man that was holding her up was shouting to the Jumbo that sped passed us a couple of minutes before. He told the Jumbo drive to move out of the way. People on the left side of the street were begging someone to take the girl to the hospital. They were saying please take her to the hospital because she is still alive. None of the Jumbo drivers wanted to take her because they feared the girl would die on the way to the hospital and that would be bad luck.

I didn’t see any collision at the spot, only an SUV with a man holding the poor girl. My conclusion was that she got hit by a car while trying to cross the street. It is very dark at that location with hardly any lighting. Bay told me not to look and drove passed the Jumbo in front of us. When we got to Patouxay Bay said that she would have turned back if it was not for her male friend. She said the traffic in Vientiane is too much, unlike in Pakse and that she is more comfortable driving in her hometown than at a big city. She also told me not to tell my two aunts about what we saw earlier that night.

I was still shaken by what I saw a few minutes before and was not able to absorb the music, the lights and the water display at Patouxay Monument. All I could do was saying a prayer so I can make it back home in one piece.

After the water display we went to Labiengrom for Sien Dart (Laotian Fondue). I didn’t have much appetite and ate mostly vegetables cooked in the Fondue pan.

On the way home Bay said there must have been a big accident during the day at one of the main streets. I looked back and saw broken glasses at one intersection. Bay said not to worry and that nothing bad can come to us since we were at a wat in the morning and got blessings.

We got home safe and sound after dinner. However, I was not able to sleep that night and kept thinking about the girl and wondering if she is dead or alive. I also wanted to know if that girl was Lao or Farang. I saw a long hair Farang girl on that road before during noon time. With so many Lao girls dying their hair light, it is hard to tell from a distance at night time.

For more pictures from my recent trip to Laos, please visit Lao Voices Gallery.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Here is a classic song listed as number 29 in Ruam Pheng Lao 1999 Pheng Dung (Lao Music Top Hits) in the past and present. The original version was sung by Kor Viseth. Anousone is the singer in this particular MV.

I thought the song is fitting around Valentine’s Day. My aunt told me once that my Papa called my Mama his Jom Jai. I have yet to met a man who would say that I am his Jom Jai. Then again, I am not much of a romantic person and this line of phrase would probably never work on me, lol.

I only slept for a couple of hours before heading out for a great adventure in Vientiane, the capital city of Laos. After a quick breakfast, my aunt took my two cousins and I to Don Chan Palace.

We later went to Wat Simoung for prayer sessions in the memory of my recent departed Grand-Papa. As a former resident of Vientiane I have never been to that temple before and found Wat Simoung to be quite beautiful.

After the offerings, we went to Talat Sao or Morning Market for some shopping. I wanted to make a few sinh for the trip to Pakse, to meet my Grand-Mama. I bought four sinh, two for myself, one for my youngest sister, and one for my aunt as a gift. My aunt knows how to sew and can make a Lao sinh in an hour.

We then bought quite a few Lao dishes for lunch. I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach since I barely finished my meal.