Sao Lao

On our third day in Vientiane, we did the same thing, walked back to aunt V’s villa to take a shower and have breakfast. After a shower I told my parents that I wanted to do a white wash later in the afternoon. My father told me not to go next door to do laundry. He said I shouldn’t “lop kuan” my uncle and his wife. I can wait till I get to Pakse and there will be dek noi (kids) to wash my clothes for me. I told him I don’t want to do such thing and do not expect my relatives to do my laundry for me. If it is a problem with using the washing machine next door, then I can compensate with money to pay for the water and electricity. My father then told me to wash my clothes by hands in the bathroom. He said I can also wash his clothes and my mother’s clothes as well. Being a stubborn daughter that I am, I told him no. I have a back pain and there is no stool for me to sit on I told him. I would have to sit on the floor or bend down to wash the clothes.

Of course being the proud man that he is, my father decided to wash his own whites. There was no laundry detergent around and I had to be the one to go next door asking for some. I washed my clothes that needed to be hand wash along with my mother’s delicates. My parents told me to hang the clothes inside the house, which was very difficult to do since there is no rope or anything. They told me to go ask for a rope next door so I can make a clothes line. There is no rope that I can use from my uncle’s house. His wife asked me why we can’t hang the clothes on the clothes drying rack like I did yesterday. I laughed and told her to ask my parents. I found it funny when my parents decided to hang their clothes in the kitchen on the window. I asked my parents what would the guests to the house think when they come in the kitchen, through the back door, and their eyes will meet the undergarments.

Perhaps my mother had enough of my disobedient and wanted to put me in my place. She asked me when will I get rid of the strings on my arms. She said it was not appropriate for me to have such things on my arms. I told her when I am ready then I will do so. She said there is no reason for me to be wearing the strings since they get wet and get dirty. I told her that I keep good care of them and they dry fast after a shower. I was a bit upset with my mom for nagging me about having the white and yellow strings on my arms from Phook Khuan in Pakse. I didn’t like the fact that when my mother saw me at the airport, she asked me what are the things on my arms? I felt hurt and in reply I said to her that she knows what they are since she used to be a Buddhist and used to wear such things on her arms. She told me to get rid of them. I’ve not seen my mother since last summer and the second thing she said to me after “hi” is to make a fuss about something that is part of Lao culture. I then asked her to look at my hair and she said that it’s nice.

This is the third time that my mother told me to get rid of the strings. She made a fuss about it the afternoon before when we were visiting my great-aunt. To make my mother happy I asked aunt K to untie the strings for me when she showed up with fruits for me later in the morning. I told aunt K that my parents are Christians and so am I. I kept only the two orange strings because they were from two different temples. Of course when aunt K left, my mother asked me what she was doing here and what does she want and why does she come so often. I knew it was going to be difficult for me trying to make everyone happy and keeping things in balance.

My aunt A then showed up to visit us. She asked my parents if they wanted to do anything. My parents said they want to do some shopping, buying things to take to Pakse. I left with my aunt-in-law to visit my God mother and to get a new hair cut. During our drive she asked me if my parents and I have a plan for lunch and dinner yet. I told her to not make plan for anything because I had no idea what my parents want to do for lunch or dinner. My aunt-in-law then asked me if we will sleep over at the other house tonight and told me that my father didn’t visit them during his last trip to Laos. She said he only came by to give the money from my mother but didn’t “vair yarm” or have a regular visitation that is the norm of the Lao people. I told her perhaps he didn’t have enough time since he was with someone who was in Laos for the purpose of a marriage. My father took that man with him to Laos to marry his niece.

My aunt-in-law and I went by to see my cousin who has a shop next door to my God mother. I gave him my phone number and address. He told me about his up and coming birthday and how it is a pity that I will be gone during that time. After a short visit, I went to meet my God mother and her two daughters. I was nervous at first about having my hair cut and restyle but in the end just went with the moment. How bad could it be?

My aunt-in-law also had her hair wash and restyle. When we finished we went by the police station to have a paperwork done. When we go back my aunt A asked me why I didn’t pick up the phone. I told her the battery had ran out. I was not told that after one indicator has gone down the cell phone would be dead. I asked for a charger from my aunt-in-law and left the battery charge while we went out for lunch and some light shopping.

     Tags: family, Vientiane

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